Ok, woke up this morning and decided to try and make things change for me and to be more positive. So have come up with a list of practical things that need to be done. I have made the list up of jobs of things that I know that I would be able to achieve in a relative short space of time. Things like finishing of stripping the stair case and getting carpet for the stairs, I'm just putting out of my mind for now, they are just not achievable in the near future.
On my practical list at the moment are:
Hanging pictures on walls to make the place look more homely,
Finish off painting the bathroom door and skirting's,
Find / buy some small shelves to put up in said bathroom, somewhere for the toothbrushes and soap dish to sit and a towel hook / rail.
To find, buy or borrow a garden spade and fork, so that I can turn part of the garden in to a vegetable patch. Ensuring that I leave enough space for Lily and patch the puppy to play in.
To find some sort of curtain, blinds for the windows in the kitchen, bathroom and toilet.
And also to arrange some kind of party for Lily's 7Th birthday at the of January.
Hopefully this is a small achievable list that I can do within the next couple of weeks / months. I'm not going to give my self a time limit as I don't want to feel defeated and despondent by them.
My emotional list may be a bit harder to obtain and not sure what is going on that list;
Learn to nourish and feed my soul, Find the path that I'm meant to be travelling, and who I'm meant to be travelling with, if indeed anyone at all.
To find peace within myself
To have a better or clearer understanding of friends and their limitations and to be at peace with them.
To be able to understand my family and not to allow them to control my life, my thoughts and well being. To get them to understand my life choices and if they can't then at least respect me and allow me to continue to make my choices with out criticising or putting me down.
To build on my relationship with Lily in order for her to grow up happy and respectful of other peoples needs.
There are countless others that I could list, but may be another time.
Importantly I need to learn to be happy with myself and life instead of being the miserable old bat I have become at the moment.
Happy New Year to everyone .